Trump and MAGA Republicans Pass Bill to Deport Immigrant Dogs

In a bold move, Trump and House MAGA Republicans have passed a bill requiring foreign-born dogs to either apply for citizenship or face deportation.

The Canine Citizenship Act retroactively targets popular breeds like the French Bulldog, German Shepherd, Golden Retriever, Poodle, and Yorkshire Terrier, all now considered undocumented. If your dog was born outside of Texas or doesn’t bark with an American accent, ICE (Immigration Canine Enforcement) is already on the way.

“We’re tired of seeing non-American dogs being pushed around in strollers, eating gourmet meals, and flying first class,” Trump declared at a rally.

Dog ICE has been ordered to begin operations in New York and California, where “liberal dogs are openly flaunting their mixed heritage.” Florida is next, with officials cracking down on Pit Bulls “who identify as African and check the DEI box.”

“This is just step one,” a House aide said. “Next up: emotional support ferrets, therapy turtles, and any cat with an attitude problem.”

Meanwhile, Americans are planning to fight this all the way to the Supreme Court.