Trump Rejected by Harvard for Submitting Fake GED and Plagiarized Essay

In a story 50 years in the making, Donald Trump’s latest attempt to take over Harvard was reportedly triggered by a rejection letter he received in 70’s-a humiliation he never quite recovered from. True to form, Trump vowed revenge, not by proving them wrong, but by becoming President and threatening their tax-exempt status.

Sources say Harvard might have considered his application—had he not submitted a fake GED diploma printed on a Mar-a-Lago brunch menu and plagiarized an essay titled “The Difference Between Democracy and Authoritarianism.”

In the essay, Trump famously defined democracy as “a system where one person tells everyone else what to do, when to do it, and how to do it”-confusing it with a White House staff meeting. He described authoritarianism as “what happens when a misunderstood leader is constantly oppressed by facts, journalists, and people with opinions.”

Ultimately, Harvard upheld its original decision, stating that Trump would “absolutely not be admitted to their Real Estate School.”